Being a Mama....

Friday, August 19, 2011

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I drew this picture after going somewhere with the kids….
 When the first three were little I would go some place and the whole time be mothering.. don’t do this.. don’t do that.. They got to be great outside kids.. We could go to the store and they knew NOT to put things in the cart that wasn’t allowed or wander off.. Sure there was many moments of complete break downs but over all I had some pretty nice town kids.  I got used to three.. three I could handle.. three was manageable .. Three was all that I thought I could handle.. I was so scared when Gabe came along that I didn’t take him anywhere for two years.. so he became that “cereal aisle kid”..  
Let me explain what a Cereal aisle kid is.. Ever been down the cereal aisle and seen one of those kids on the flour kicking and screaming because they didn’t get the name brand sugar pops? Those are cereal isle kids.. You can’t take them anywhere with out them on the floor kicking and screaming and demanding you to do what they want… every kid has a cereal aisle moment…. Even I have those moments.
I got him over that.. It took till he was old enough to understand that you don’t act like that with out getting in trouble.  That and he seen a few kids on the floor kicking and screaming and me hissing in his ear… THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE ACTING LIKE”   to get him to realize how silly he looked.  I try to not look down my nose when I see those kids.. Most moms don’t stay home anymore and daycare and school raise their kids..  So the guilt complex takes over and the fit is allowed..
A few years ago there was a mom wailing on her kid out in the car because she was being a horrid little brat in the store.. I am not sure if she got jail time but it got a lot of media attention.. yeah I think it was a wee bit over the top she should have waiting till she got home to spank the kid and all of this wouldn’t have happened but  I have had those moments where I am so angry at the little brat .. They know full well they can act like that and we can’t haul off and spank them like we can at home.. it is those teaching moments for us parents that are sometimes hard to learn.. I have never spanked them in public.. I got really good at pinching.. Layla was the one who would then yell out.. OUCH!! YOUR HURTING ME!!!!! OOOOOOOWWWWW..   
Now that they are old I enjoy going out with the older ones.. James is at the age where everything is a tool to torment everyone.. but he knows when to turn it off when Mama is stressed.. Zoe is understanding of what food we need.. Layla  too but she still spends the whole time asking if Pea is a good name for a dog and when is she getting the dog and she cant wait till we get a  house and and and why why why .. usually one glare shuts her up for a few minutes so I can figure out what is cheaper.. frozen broccoli or fresh. Once when I thought these kids REALLY got it and was such helpful angels I found out it was a game.. Say the least amount of words in Aldi’s, who ever loses gets punched by the winner in the car..
Layla lost.
When my kids were younger I thought everything was so hard.. . mind you it was.. I had 3 three and under.. I was dealing postpartum, no money and no energy to get out of bed let alone clean and cook..  but now that they are older it is even harder, no longer are you teaching them to dress themselves but to dress themselves appropriately.. no longer am I teaching not to point their fingers at fat ppl in public but to not point their fingers at anyone .. I got what 2+2 means now I have to teach what the square root of two is…
 Parenting is a job that when you don’t have kids you have all the answers for.. once you pop out that little  screaming monster  all your notions that you will be the best parent are gone like your figure..
Wait.. let me take that back..
Once you have your SECOND kid all the notions you thought you knew  are gone.. the first one is usually the one with the most complexes, the one who is the most responsible, the one who gets so mad at you because they never got away with that.. the one you let do things because you know they’ve had it drilled in all the things that can go wrong. The one you raised when you still thought you knew everything. The guinea pigs of parenting skills.
 Lately my kids have been corrected by none parents.. I usually sit there dumbfounded.. laughing like a idiot because what I really want to do is jump on the back of the corrector and claw their eyes out..  But I can’t for some reason.. I usually just gather the kids up and walk away and go home.. and think well when they have kids they will understand..
This is a parenting lesson I been shying away from.. I don’t like to make waves.. there has only been a few things I have stood my ground on and spoken up for..usually I let ppl walk all over me and seethe inside… but as my kids get older and do things that might not be what some would allow, I draw the line.. they aren’t drawing on the walls.. throwing water balloons inside.. walking in mud and then wiping their feet on the walls.. they are kids.. they laugh, run and play.. if you don’t like it I am sorry, I carried them for nine months.. I taught them to walk, talk and feed themselves I think I should have that right to raise them the way I see fit.
Some Things that motherhood has taught me:
·         I am not infallible
·         My perfect plan won’t always work
·         A messy house is sometimes warranted
·         A spider saved in one of your only lunch containers is worth it
·         Never throw out a picture
·         Always take pictures
·         Getting things through by yelling doesn’t always work
·         Do things with them today.. tomorrow they will be married
·         I won’t be as excited as I thought would be when they leave.

At the store Yesterday a older woman was spouting off that it is better off to have a dog or a cat then it is to have kids.. maybe she is right.. because when you have kids you no longer can think only of yourself..  you can’t buy purses that cost the same as your monthly rent.. you can’t jet off to the nearest mall to redo your wardrobe every month..  You have to put your selfish dreams aside and live for other people..
I am glad I had kids. Even though they drive me insane at times I have this satisfying thought that one day they will have their own kids that will drive them batty.


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