The Jarvis Guide to Entertaining

Friday, December 23, 2011

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The holidays are upon us… the hustle of Christmas shopping, visitors, and the seemingly endless baking of holiday cheer can be over whelming.. so I decided to share with you all the Jarvis Guide to Entertaining..

Martha Stewart eat your heart out…

To really get the Holidays rolling you need to catch the latest flu… If one of your children already has it then your in luck… just make sure you drink after them and let them wipe their nose on your shirt several times a day.. If none of your kids are sick then all you have to do is go to the nearest grocery store… and lick as many grocery cart handles that you can before someone calls security.   

Now that your feeling sluggish and achy all over write a list..

Lose that list and make several more..

*Note: Lists are a great way to stay organized.. I like to write several earlier in the week before a big event so I can start the anxiety flowing freely… Don’t fret if you lose your list.. they’re really just a excuse to drink more coffee and procrastinate.

Do at least one or two things on your list a week before your company shows up… don’t go hog wild and do them all before.. we want to wait till the last possible moment and do them then..

Another tip is to save your voice until the D-day.. you need it to start screaming at the kids or poor husband that decided to stay home that day.

Start yelling.. this way everyone gets a attitude with you and moves even slower.. blame it on the fact you don’t feel good… see? Aren’t you glad you cleaned all those carts with your tongue?

Save the mopping for the last hour…

Drink another cup of coffee…

Once your company has arrived and the food is consumed…  let yourself relax and enjoy the evening.

I have included a entertaining check list… feel free to print several.


Jessica said...

HaggyHouseWife does it again!!We are gathered around roaring with laughter...I started to print out the guide, but of course I'm outa ink, anyhow it's there in my head,in my genes, in my blood- The Jarvis way to entertain!

kathy said...

And just how many of these wonderfully useful tips came from your mother?

eternity said...

bawhaha! I love it Sarah! I don't even have kids running around and still am about ready to crash as company walks through the door!

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