Farewell April:

This month has been busy.. every week it seemed that I was either cleaning or cooking for some event..

The house won and then I fought back..

My 20’s got even farther away

I found my voice in arguments.

I have learned this month that life is fragile and friendships are a two way street..

I have laughed and cried…

I even steam cleaned my carpets.

I managed a visit from “company” and they left with all their limbs attached.

I have seen my children grow in some ways and regress in others..  they became more responsible and I am so proud of them.

I have made more resolutions to be a better parent and not to take the Word for granted..

I didn’t lose a pound even after cutting out all processed foods from our diet.

I have been speaking loudly and forgetting about the stick when it should have been the other way around.

My rules have been broken with Gabriel and candy. Those two ingredients don’t mix and the monster is fed by the sugar.

All the efforts that I made for someone to feel at home was tossed aside. I had opened my heart and home for them and with one meant to be funny comment from me has turned into a very hurtful situation.

I am only human.. and I know that God tests us and it is up to us how we deal with our tests.. we can either wallow in our misery over things done wrong to us or to learn what ever it is we were to learn. But I have a hard time with this one. I have no clue what to learn here.. all I do know is that I will never stop living from this person or others no matter how much they spit on my efforts.

I have been inspired I have been chastised  I have grown.

Farewell April  and may I fill May with love and more growth for my family.

I haven't been in the mood to blog lately.. I tried earlier today and it ended up sounding like I was going to shoot you if you even so looked at a fast food joint... so I gave up.. I saved it among all my other aggressive blogs that hopefully one day I will find the time and energy to edit them and make them more suitable for company..

 I think I know the source of my foul mood...

Tomorrow is my birthday.. and I really wished that this year is the year everyone forgot about it.. but for some reason they didn't... it doesn't help that the kids are counting down the days  and ask me every morning.. " What do you want for your birthday Mama?"

Your rooms cleaned...

Yeah right! I never get what I want...

What I really want.... lets see.. well to be happy for one.. I am working on that.. but I end up losing that battle by evening time..
To be more organized... to wake up every morning with a clean kitchen and the laundry pile to not be spilling out into the kitchen. to not have attitudes when it comes to sitting down and doing school to have dinner waiting on the stove when DH comes home.
To never raise my voice again.. unless it is to sing.
To never be made to feel guilty for something I can not do no matter how many times you ask or dirty looks thrown my way.
To never be in the middle of a gossip train... and that if I hear something about someone that I would never ever repeat it.
To never be the object of someones wrath..
To always smile and have the right words for ppl in need.
To never fail again as a parent..

I don't think the kids could even come close to finding that stuff at walmart.

That is a good thing.. it would be made in China and who wants self esteem from China?

It doesn't help that the battle of the messy house is not even.. Me/3  House/22 I have company coming this weekend.. the corners are filled to the brim there is a inch of dust on everything.. the cobwebs hanging from the living room ceiling are getting so big that the kids will be able to swing on them soon.. and the cabinets keep getting shoved with more stuff I don't have room for or want/need... and we won't even go into the yard and the horrid mess that is out there..
Shall we talk about the carpets? I am pretty sure that if I didn't have food for lunch the kids could get a well balanced one off the living room and dinning room carpets.. the really really sad part is that I have a carpet cleaner.. it is in the dinning room because I can't seem to muster up the energy to put it somewhere..

There is no hope..

And I am getting even OLDER tomorrow.

Lets gripe about that some more.. Older isn't the right word.. I don't mind being old.. I think with age you get wisdom.. ( well some of us do at least ) and I want that.. I want to be wise and have the knowledge to know what to do. I still think of myself as a 18 idiot so 33 is kinda hard to grasp.. I just got used to being 32 and the stupid change of the calendar messed that up for me. I don't care about wrinkles, grey hair or saggy skin.. I don't have wrinkles.. ( on my face) haven't seen a grey hair ( probably wont since both my parents didn't gray until their 50's) and saggy skin? well.. I would probably see allot more of that if I lost a few small adults off my rear end and front.. but for now it is all nice cushy fat.

I lost my point..

Oh well.. I can sum it up by saying that I am getting older tomorrow... still fat.. company is coming and my house is a mess..

Who wants to adopt some kids for a week while I have myself a pity party?

Or I could just buckle down and  drink lots and lots of coffee and clean like a mad woman from now until Friday.. and when company finally gets here sit on the couch and relax...
Look up and realize I forgot the cobwebs.

I want to try this on someone to see if it really works...

Who's game?

The Cookie Jar

I used to hate making cookies… they are very time consuming.. you pour, mix, cream and then have to roll out  e…..v….e…..r….y…..s….i….n…g…..l….e  one. Then I found it relaxing.. there is something about pinching off a bit of cookie dough in your hands and shaping them into cookies that gets you lost in your thoughts.. I really work some things out in my head when I bake.. I argue with the latest person I have a problem with.. I think about what I would do if I could do them the way I want… I vent, dream, cry, and relieve so much when I cook..

It’s so much cheaper than therapy.

Until the price of butter goes up..

I like being able to deliver the latest request.. When Gabe asks me for some cookies I pretty much jump to the chance… ( his wife is going to hate me.. “ I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR MOTHER DID FOR YOU!!) he usually has the same demands.. chocolate chip..  James loves peanut butter.. Layla chocolate chip and Zoe chocolate cake..

I’m not very adventurous when it comes to trying out new recipes..  too many people have pallets of  donkeys and don’t care what they produce so I usually read and reread and  compare before I waste any of my butter on a cookie that could be dry, tasteless, or hard as a rock.

But cookies are simple.. lack of taste? Add more vanilla, salt or flavor of the cookie.. peanut butter, cranberries, or chocolate chips.. to dry? Look at the ratio of the flour verses the eggs and butter and then adjust.. usually less flour by ¼ of a cup... to crisp?   Bake it less and don’t ever ever leave them on the pan if they look done.. the great thing about cakes and cookies is that they still cook even when out of the oven… the obvious gooey ones leave them on the pan for a few mins and they will finish cooking..  There is a science to cooking and if you understand the ingredients and what they do ( Thank you Cooks Illustrated!) you can tweak any recipe to make it better.

Baking soda and baking powder are leavings  they help your cookies rise… to much baking powder will cause your cookies to rise and then fall…  when you see a recipe that calls for ¼ teaspoon of baking soda don’t skip that.. it helps your baked goods brown..

“Without eggs, homemade cookies are no more than stone breads with sugar. This natural ingredient contributes to: Building structure Lending desirable texture and taste Leavening extending shelf life” bla bla bla  this isn’t one ingredient you can skip over..

Salt helps to bring out the other flavors. Even if you are not making cookies, this rule holds true. Try making something fairly bland without any salt. Taste it. Now add some salt in. You will notice a difference. Lack of taste? Add more salt.. I usually glace a recipe and see the measurements for the salt.. my rule is one teaspoon of salt for three cups of flour…

Sometimes you’ll see a recipe call for shortening and butter.. shortening is to hold the shape of the cookie better since butter tends to spread easily… there is no taste in shortening.. and since this is about cookies not about deadly products out there we will just leave it as don’t use shortening… I’ve found a good way to prevent spreading of my cookies.. roll them in balls before baking.. somehow that shape helps.. and if your dough is too soft let it sit in your fridge for a hour or two.. ( or overnight like me because you got a hair brain idea to make cookies at nine at night and only got through two batches before you gave up)  this lets your butter harden back up so that it doesn’t melt as fast in your oven…

Sugar is one of the main components  if you reduce the amount of granulated sugar called for in your cookie recipe, you inadvertently increase the amount of water or liquid that is available for flour to absorp. As a result, your dough will be stiffer, and your sugar cookies tend to be crunchy and don't spread much. But that also doesn’t mean you blindly follow a recipe.. there is usually 2 cups of sugar to one cup of butter.. if you have a recipe that has 4 cups of sugar and one cup of butter one… your not going to be able to cream it together and two some idiot did a typo… ( I never do typos… I just didn’t read over my blog and find about ten that I need to correct..) it all comes down to using common cooking sense..

I am sure that next year I will be on a different cooking obsession but this spring it has been cookies..  The kids better enjoy it while they can.. it might just be with liverwurst soon…

 Here is my favorite cookies to make..

Chocolate chip.. This one is great.. I am sure I am being  hypocrite  here by having pudding mix in my dough… but you would be one too once you tried them. I love to make the full batch and do one box vanilla and one box French vanilla.. they are amazing. I made these once and froze the dough that I made up as balls and they turned out fine..

Magic Pudding Cookies

Oatmeal.. cranberry…. cookies… now those I could eat.. I love the bite that the cranberrys give you.. this recipe calls for raisins and if you’re a cranberry hater then go for it.. these are soft and chewy.

Oatmeal Cookies

This doesn’t make that much… it says something like 36 cookies and I barely get 24 out of the recipe.. these are more for a special occasion  or a cookie swap.

Chocolate covered cherry cookies 

James’s favorites… I am reminded of Papa when I make these.. how much he loved cookies but they had to be crunchy..

These aren’t… And I miss him.

Peanut butter Cookies