The Jarvis Guide to Entertaining

The holidays are upon us… the hustle of Christmas shopping, visitors, and the seemingly endless baking of holiday cheer can be over whelming.. so I decided to share with you all the Jarvis Guide to Entertaining..

Martha Stewart eat your heart out…

To really get the Holidays rolling you need to catch the latest flu… If one of your children already has it then your in luck… just make sure you drink after them and let them wipe their nose on your shirt several times a day.. If none of your kids are sick then all you have to do is go to the nearest grocery store… and lick as many grocery cart handles that you can before someone calls security.   

Now that your feeling sluggish and achy all over write a list..

Lose that list and make several more..

*Note: Lists are a great way to stay organized.. I like to write several earlier in the week before a big event so I can start the anxiety flowing freely… Don’t fret if you lose your list.. they’re really just a excuse to drink more coffee and procrastinate.

Do at least one or two things on your list a week before your company shows up… don’t go hog wild and do them all before.. we want to wait till the last possible moment and do them then..

Another tip is to save your voice until the D-day.. you need it to start screaming at the kids or poor husband that decided to stay home that day.

Start yelling.. this way everyone gets a attitude with you and moves even slower.. blame it on the fact you don’t feel good… see? Aren’t you glad you cleaned all those carts with your tongue?

Save the mopping for the last hour…

Drink another cup of coffee…

Once your company has arrived and the food is consumed…  let yourself relax and enjoy the evening.

I have included a entertaining check list… feel free to print several.

Print Guide

Marinara sauce

Marinara sauce, spaghetti sauce, pasta sauce… what ever you want to call it frustrated me…  I think I went through every brand at the store and found only one that I actually enjoyed eating… only it was $5.50 a jar… and to feed the herd I have it makes dinner over $13.00… and to keep costs down I try and have dinner for 6 under $7.00… that’s not per serving that’s the whole meal… that’s a lot of beans.. a lot of pasta… and potatoes. So it was the cheap stuff… Aldi’s has a nice Marinara sauce but it is lacking in so many ways that after I doctor it up with spices and what not I might as well have made it from scratch…

So that is what I have been doing… Gone is the too sweet jar of sauce… gone is the off taste that you have to mask with ½ cup of garlic… gone is the instant dinner.

The longer you cook this the better it tastes… I try and give myself at least 3 hours of simmering time so the flavors can blend together  while I get the house in order in the evening…

I always keep a few bulbs of garlic and tomato puree around

I usually use a whole onion and a whole bulb of garlic .. adjust to your taste… if you have some dice up some zucchini and/or summer squash at this point and sauté along with the onions and garlic.

Onions sizzling away

Add the garlic

Add your tomato puree (2- 28 oz cans)

Then add 4 cups of water

Tablespoon of oregano

Tablespoon of basil, two teaspoon of salt and one tablespoon of salt

Let simmer for at least 3 hours stirring once in a while

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Recipe:

2- 28 ounce cans of tomato puree

One onion chopped

One bulb of garlic minced

3 tablespoons of oil

4 cups of water

One tablespoon of oregano

One tablespoon of sugar

One tablespoon of basil

2 teaspoons of salt

Sauté over med-high onions and garlic till onions are translucent, add tomato puree and water, add spices and stir well… lower heat to low and simmer for 3 hours stirring periodically.

Peanut butter chocolate chip oatmeal cookies...

Whew.... that's a mouthful to say... and OoOOooOOooO these are a mouthful of goodness....

"Oh look….. she is posting another cookie recipe…"

Yay……..

Oh but this is a good cookie.. I almost didn’t share the recipe because I wanted something to be piggish about but realized that I needed to pass this around…

I have one of those cheapo ice cream scoops.. I end up using it for everything.. pancakes, muffin or cupcake batter and now cookies… I measured mine and it is about 3 and ¼ tablespoons to the top.. and to make a large cookie you need about 3 tablespoons of dough… or if your one of “those” people and have cookie scoops then use your largest one.

Gather the ingredients… the first time I made this recipe I used quick oats… it worked if that is all you have.

Cream your butters, sugars and vanilla together

Add your egg

Add your flour mixture... the salt, flour and baking soda.

Add the oats

Add the chocolate chips..

Oven at 350 F on a ungreased pan scoop out dough… three tablespoons … if not using a ice cream scoop roll them out so they stay round for you…

Do NOT!!! Crowd.. these suckers spread out and we want the edges to look pretty

Bake for about 10 to 14 minutes.. only till they are golden brown.. they won’t be done, we’re gonna leave them to finish cooking on the pan…

After about 15 minutes when they have completely cooled transfer to plate or airtight container…

This recipe only makes a dozen or a bakers dozen depending on how generous you measured. Perfect for a hostess gift. 

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Peanut butter oatmeal chocolate chip cookies:

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
1 stick (½ cup) unsalted butter, at room temperature
½ cup creamy peanut butter
½ cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup light brown sugar
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
1 egg
½ cup rolled oats
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. 

2. Whisk together the flour, baking soda and salt; set aside.

3. On medium speed, cream together the butter, peanut butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract, about 3 minutes. Add the egg and beat to combine. On low speed, gradually add the flour until just combined. Stir in the oats, and then the chocolate chips.

4. Use a large cookie scoop (3 tablespoons) and drop dough onto prepared baking sheets about 2 inches apart. Bake for 10 minutes, or until the cookies are lightly golden. Cool completely on the baking sheet and then store in an airtight container at room temperature.

More random thoughts from the housewife

I felt like I started off November running from this side of town to the next…  I keep hearing things about Thanksgiving and wonder why they are talking about it soooo early.  Christmas shopping? That’s months away!! Mind you Thanksgiving for us growing up was canning turkeys because they were on sale and Christmas was not something we did… it becomes quite a shock several times a week for me when I realize that this is November and Christmas is next month…  then I forget about it and go back to my hunt for dust bunnies only to repeat the cycle when I come up for air.

 School this year is a joy… we started off like a old truck in September (start,stop,start,stop,chug,chug,chug) to run out of gas last month… Once all fall projects are completed we are back to the grindstone… but that’s not to say we are still not learning. I am embracing more and more “unschooling”  and armed with a pencil and notebook a outing to the grocery store can be a full day of school… Math: why we can’t buy that cool looking toy and get milk, History: last week we poked our sister with our grubby toes and she screamed and caused the whole back seat to erupt into a boiling fight… lets do it again. Science: The law of gravity and cans of green beans…   sarcasm aside each day has something to teach you… and as a parent it is our job to teach them how to spot life’s teaching lessons.

I’ve learned how to control my tongue better…. And to keep from shoving my foot in my mouth.

Coming to the conclusion that my opinions are just that… mine..  not very many ppl have the same outlook on childbirth, child raising, child correction, fashion, and conduct of a woman…. I don’t need to push mine on others… it makes me mad when they do that to me why would I think they would feel any better when I do the same??? 

The house became quieter yesterday…. My oldest is on a adventure to W.Va. staying with his Memaw for several weeks…

He better not come home any taller.

So far I have only three and half rooms left to fall clean… there is nothing like the feeling of throwing out bags and bags of “trash”. I love clutter as much as the next hoarder but sometimes my clutter has to make sense….  And a cabinet that is overflowing with baking pans and I only use half and after a trek to dig through the pots and pans to find that cheesecake/cake pan you tend to want to fling something… so I have left the kitchen for one of the last hurdles to get over.

And while the Jr. hoarder is away I can tackle his closet that is filled with toys and clothes that he refuses to throw away…..

With Thanksgiving less than three days away I am sure there will be many more trips across town and many more explosions in the back seat.

I feel like I have been hiding from blogging by washing dishes and attacking the laundry... I get these bright idea's of blogging at least 4 times a week... and then life happens and no time to sit down for more than ten minutes or the brain power to try and make my posts semi intelligent. 

But I am gonna do better!!!

Crab Rangoons

I came across my recipe for rangoons…  I about choked on my saliva and wanted to so bad to get the ingredients for them… but somehow in a brief sane moment I decided that toilet paper was more important than canned crab meat…


But I wanted to share the recipe and for some reason I feel like I have to post step by step pictures of recipes so this means I have to one make the recipe earlier in the day when I still speaking in a soft voice.. or two hoard the recipe and never post it online..


After pulling out my stash of cooks illustrated  I got the bright idea of drawing the step by step instructions ……


Those work right??


Until I realized that I forgot to brush my hair before I drew my self portrait.







Gather our usually over priced ingredients but managed to find some store brand.









Plop them all in a bowl and give it a good stir…  disregard the instructions in the recipe… those are for organized people… today we are going to be slobs…









In large pot heat oil till it looks like it will fry fat to a crispy rind… refrain from sitting in pot..







Stop, scream at a kid









With your bowl of water wet sides of wrappers and slop some filling towards the  area of the middle of the wonton…
Fold over… rinse repeat







Slowly add filled wontons into overly hot oil and fry those little suckers up..







Drain… and serve…


You know… toilet paper is so over rated…

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Recipe


8 Ounces Fresh crab Meat or Canned crab Meat, Drained and Flaked
8 Ounces cream cheese
1 – 1 1/2 green onions, finely Sliced
1/2 Cup mayonnaise
1 Package wonton wrappers
1 Small Bowl Filled With water For Wetting Wontons
Oil for Deep Frying


Directions:
Combine the crab and the cream cheese. Mix in the remaining filling ingredients one at a time.
On a flat surface, lay out a wonton wrapper in front of you so that it forms a diamond shape. Wet the edges of the wonton.
Add a heaping teaspoon of filling to the middle, and spread it out toward the left and right points of the diamond so that it forms a log or rectangular shape (otherwise the wrapper may break in the middle during deep-frying).
Fold over the edges of the wrapper so that it forms a triangle shape. Seal the edges, adding more water if needed.
Cover the completed Crab Rangoon with a damp towel to prevent them from drying out while preparing the rest.
Heat wok and add oil for deep-frying. When oil is ready (the temperature should be between 360 – 375 degrees), carefully slide in the Crab Rangoon, taking care not to overcrowd the wok. Deep-fry until they are golden brown, about 3 minutes, turning once.
Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels. Cool and serve.
Great with Duck sauce or hot mustard!

Granola

Ohh how I love granola… One of my earliest memories is sitting on the deck in Jacksonville ridge and having a bowl of granola that Mama had made and picking out only the raisins and pecans… when I had polished those off I handed the bowl back to Mama  asking for more.. there was probably at least two cups of oats and sunflower seeds still left and she told me to  eat the rest before I got more…

That bowl was probably left on the deck as I ran off to catch some peep peeps and wallow in the mud.. I couldn’t wait till I grew up so I could put in the granola what I wanted..

Every now and then I would go hunting for a recipe that would be feasible  for my lazy self.. and for some reason the thought of cooking something at 250 for umpteen hours just didn’t sound inviting.. a lot can happen in several hours… and to be by the stove for that long in the beginning of the day just wouldn’t work out.. and in the evening when I am tied to the stove there was no way I could throw in one more thing to make with dinner.. so I gave up..

I must not have looked very hard for a recipe because in the past two days I have found at least three where it only takes 30 minutes of baking or maybe the thought of spending over five dollars for a box of granola that only has about 2 cups of processed goodness motivated me to look better.

So here is my conclusion to the breakfast recipes this week….

I changed some things with the original slightly and then completely forgot to add the oil.. Which after researching, is perfectly fine if you want to just use it for cereal or in yogurt.. They say it makes it more crunchy but I doubled my pecans so I think the oil from them should be enough.. I also don’t like something sweet for breakfast so I used less honey and sugar and just let the cranberries be enough

You’re never getting another dime from me you off brand granola cereal makers

Dump all but the dried fruit in your mixing bowl.. Don’t forget the oil!!

Mix well and spread thin on a cookie sheet

Bake for 20 to 30 mins stirring halfway through

Let cool and then add your fruit..

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Granola

3 cups Old Fashioned Rolled Oats

2 cup Pecan Halves, Whole Or Chopped (or any 2 cups of nuts of your choice)

3 tablespoons Honey

⅓ cup Canola Or Vegetable Oil

¼ cup Light Brown Sugar

1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1 teaspoon Kosher Salt

1 cup cranberries  (or any cup of dried fruit of your choice)

 Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
 

Combine all the ingredients except the dried fruit.
 Spread the oat and nut mixture onto a sheet pan.
 

Bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 minutes, stirring halfway through. It should be a nice, nutty-golden color.

Allow it to cool completely on a sheet pan.
Once it is cool, transfer to a large bowl and add in the dried fruit. Stir to combine.

Enjoy or store in an air tight container.